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  • Is The Message You Are Getting From Your Ego or Your Higher Self?

    Woman thinking

    Learning to work with your intuition is a skill I think we all should learn. If you know how to understand messages that are coming through in the moment, you don’t need a tarot card reader or psychic to help you make decisions. You will be able to tap into Divine Guidance for yourself. But how do you know if the message you are getting is from your ego or your Higher Self? Let’s talk a little bit about it now.

    When you are learning to work with your intuition, you might struggle to be able to discern if a message is coming from your ego or your Higher Self.

    Unfortunately, we, as a society, have been taught to ignore the most basic—and often the most easily understandable—signs from our souls, like hunger, pain, exhaustion, and sadness. Instead of resting when we are overwhelmed, we are pushed to keep going til the job is done. Or we eat according to the clock, not when we are truly hungry.

    If you ignore those cues, you might also ignore the whispers your Higher Self.

    And sadly, our society has also tried to banish symbolism and connecting with the Universe around us. It’s been deemed evil, and those who practice divination or even work with symbols, numerology, astrology, etc. have been systematically outcast, dubbed as wicked, and even tortured or murdered for their practices and beliefs.

    No wonder people have a hard time connecting with their intuition!

    So, how can you tell if a sign or message you get is from your Higher Self, or if it is just your ego trying to keep you small or even fear or FOMO preventing you from doing what you truly know you need to do?

    Tune in to your gut

    One of the most common ways your Higher Self will send a message is through your gut. If you are faced with something your soul is screaming NO to, it will often make your stomach area feel tense, clenched, and just plain out of whack.

    My mom always told me to do a “gut check” when I was trying to make a decision. How do you do a gut check?

    Doing a Gut Check

    Sit quietly without distractions. Take a few breaths to calm yourself and get focused on tuning into your body. Think about Option A. Notice how it makes your stomach feel. What sensations arise. Do you get anxious, grumpy, or sad? Does your tummy start to clinch or feel uncomfortable? Or do you feel free, light, and excited? Note your true feelings.

    Repeat this process with all of the options you have. Be honest with yourself about how you truly feel and what comes up when you think about each option.

    Tone of the Message

    If you get messages through thoughts, like, “This is a great opportunity! Don’t miss out!” or “Watch out for that one…”, you want to think about the tone of the message to understand if the message is from your ego or your Higher Self.

    Messages that are neutral or loving tend to come from Spirit. Messages that are biting, demanding, or insulting, like, “Who do you think you are to think that,” or “OMG. He doesn’t even like you!” or “You’re too (short, tall, fat, old, dumb, etc.) to get this,” are from your ego or even trauma-related messages.

    Note the tone of a message to tell if it is from your Higher Self or from your ego.

    Is the Message Win-Win or Fear Driven?

    Even though this might be a subtle distinction, sorting out if a message is fair and from a higher perspective or if it is driven by fear will also help you decide where it comes from.

    Messages from your Higher Self might encourage you to take a different path and that shift might let others down, but it isn’t fear driven.

    Consider the difference between these messages:

    “You should leave now before you get hurt.”


    “You should leave now because you have tried everything and you are still not happy.”

    There is a big difference between the two.

    When trying to decide if a message is from your ego or Higher Self, note if a message is laced with fear or doubt or if it is loving guidance. You will learn to know the difference.

    Do you feel calm and connected or anxious and forced?

    Oh! This is a great one. When your Higher Self is sending a message, it will feel calm and just right, like Pappa Bear’s porridge.

    If a message is from your ego, however, you might feel forced to make a decision or even like you are dragging yourself to your goal, one leaden footstep after the other.

    Or you might feel like you HAVE to choose between Choice A and Choice B RIGHT NOW! But really, the Universe might have Choices X, Y, and Z lined up for you, if you would just let go of feeling like you need to choose A or B.

    When your Higher Self is guiding you, you will start to feel the simple power of its presence. It doesn’t need to force you to anything. It will let you know. All you have to do is follow it. 🙂

    You get goosebumps or see flashes of light, auras, or other signs

    Another way Spirit will send messages to you is through goosebumps, flashes of light, auras, or other signs.

    For example, when you talk about an idea that really lights you up or is driven by true inspiration, you might break out in goosebumps. This is totally common, especially if you are doing spiritual work.

    I’ve also seen flashes of different colored light and different signs, like feathers, stars, rainbows, and clover when thinking about different outcomes or even looking at different options.

    Or you might see shadows around things that are either MEH or will be bad for you. Other signs that you might want to pass on a project or person are seeing snakes around them, feeling drained when in their presence or when working with them, or even seeing coffins or piles of poo. These are all warnings from Spirit that you should take into consideration.

    Critical, Biting Feedback

    While your Higher Self is loving, supportive, and kind, your ego might be biting and insulting.

    Higher Self will remind you that you did your best while your ego will let you know how weak, dumb, and inept you are.

    You might also have to battle voices from other influences in your life, people whose voices got stuck in your head when you were down.

    Check the voice of a message. If it’s the voice of your overly critical father or the teacher who always made you feel stupid, you know the message is coming from ego or an echo of their negativity that got stuck in your psyche, not Spirit.

    Your Higher Self won’t give up or sway

    Last but not least, your Higher Self will continue to send you the same message over and over again, while your ego might shift, become unclear, or just leave you feeling confused.

    If you choose an option that isn’t good for you, your Higher Self will gently remind you that you are on the wrong path, gently steering you back to the better choice.

    Your ego might lead you in circles, running back and forth, sending confused messages and leaving you feeling frazzled and unsure.

    So, if you find yourself in decision paralysis or feeling overwhelmed, you can rest assured that your Higher Self will be like a lighthouse. Its message won’t shift. It will remain calm and clear, no matter what storms rage around you or in your head.

    Your Higher Self will repeat the same message over and over again.


    As you can see, it’s often really easy to tell if a message is coming from your ego or your Higher Self. Your ego can be negative, cruel, and stuck in confusion while your Higher Self is calm, gentle, and patient. I know hearing the guidance from your Higher Self and following it can be a bit of a challenge, but learning to trust the messages you get will definitely help you out.

    Do you feel like you can tell the difference between a message from your Higher Self and your ego? Please let me know in the comments below!


  • Being An Imperfect Ally

    Personally, I’ve been having a hard time grappling with what is happening in the United States. As if the Coronavirus Pandemic wasn’t enough, now we are dealing with the civil-social unrest caused by decades of racism and little regard for the lives of people of color. The proverbial cherry on top is the support of police brutality straight from the highest levels in the US government.

    We have to do better. We have to double down on creating change. Our work is not done.

    I grew up in a segregated climate, full of us versus them mentality. It’s sad to see how they pit poor white people against people of color, making them bitter enemies in a fight for the same resources. Even I, myself, fell in with a group that was based on racist ideas for a while when I was in my late teens. What I didn’t realize then that I can see now is that it’s a sham to keep us all focused more on fighting each other than on changing the system.

    And lately, it’s been interesting to see how far certain players are willing to go to maintain the status quo…

    It’s also been inspiring to see how people are coming together, recognizing oppressive tendencies—even within themselves—and working together to create change.

    Change isn’t comfortable. Change requires work and honesty, and it requires that we shed the old and familiar in favor of something new and unknown.

    Changing our society shouldn’t be that hard. It shouldn’t, but—for some reason—it seems like it is. It’s a power play. It will require a paradigm shift and a refocus of our attention and resources on what truly matters.

    When you think about it, Civil Rights has been an issue for a LONG time, and even though we’ve taken steps forward in theory, in practice, we have slipped back by like 50 years in recent times. It’s been exacerbated by the current leadership in the US, and globally, if you want to be honest about the plight of immigrants from the Middle East, Africa, and Asia.

    Also, we haven’t really addressed underlying conditions that STILL pit one group versus another or that haven’t been changed despite any sort of progress made on a superficial level. Black neighborhoods are still considered “dangerous” and white suspects and criminals are still treated much differently than people of color.

    Lands are being stolen from Native Americans, and they are being beaten, abducted, and starved of funding for their communities. Genocide is still happening in the Middle East, Asia, Africa, etc. The patriarchy is keeping women down, no matter where they live and what socio-economic status they come from. And, if you consider the statistics in poor black neighborhoods and Native American reservations, a type of genocide is occurring in the US as well which is caused by inadequate funding and lack of access to resources.

    My husband and I watched “13th” on Netflix this week (click here to watch 13th for free on YouTube). Seeing how a clause in an amendment to the Constitution has been perverted and used as a means of keeping People Of Color (POC) down and the extent of the injustice of a for-profit prison system was utterly astounding. The vicious way white people have treated black people in the US made me sick to my stomach and sad that I was a part of that kind of energy, to begin with.

    In the past 30 or so years, after my brief association with white supremacists, I have actively spoken out against racism and exploitation. I have fought for and supported equality for ALL people. I understand that what we do to “them”, we do to ourselves. After all, there is no us and them. We are one.

    But until all of us are given the same rights and level of dignity, we can’t consider our mission to be accomplished. We can’t be lulled back into a false sense of thinking everything is OK when it’s not.

    We can’t drop the ball. We have to follow through on this one.

    I encourage you to stand up, speak out, and support the Black Lives Matter cause in whatever way you can. The Times wrote an excellent resource that lists a variety of different ways you can help the Black Lives Matter movement and equality initiatives. You can find it here: From Donating to Volunteering: Here’s How to Support Black Lives Matter, Protesters and Equality Initiatives

    If you’d like to help by supporting black-owned banks, you can check out this guide from The Simple Dollar website. You can find their free guide here: 19 Black-Owned Banks and How to Support Them

    Be honest with yourself. Look for your own biases and tendencies. Don’t beat yourself up over them. Recognize them for what they are and work to change them. Challenge yourself. Be an imperfect ally. And don’t put a wall up if someone is trying to educate you from their perspective. Just because it didn’t happen to you doesn’t mean it didn’t happen at all.

    If you find yourself saying things like, “but all lives matter,” remember that no one is saying white lives don’t matter. If you find yourself being triggered or angry about what is happening, find out what your trigger is. Learn about what wasn’t listed in history books. Open your eyes, ears, and mind. Try not to react with anger. React with curiosity and a desire to truly understand the situation.

    We can do this. We’re all in this together.

    I wish you peace,