Man oh man, it can be so difficult to stick with the boundaries you’ve created – especially if you are a Sensitive Soul, Earth Angel, or Lightworker – because enforcing those boundaries can totally suck.
Really. You might doubt yourself, your motives, your worth. You’ll likely think, “Who am I to want/desire/deserve all of this that I have created for myself?” and “I am being such an awful, mean, horrible, greedy bitch.”
And others might actually TELL you that you are horrible, rotten, unfair, unworthy, mean… etc. They will question WHY and IF you actually need your resources for yourself, and they will try to make you feel like crap for restricting their access to your stuff!
Close friends, lovers, relatives, longtime business partners who know you well will totally know which buttons to push and how to make you feel guiltiest about putting yourself first – it is an unfortunate truth. This is because they KNOW your kind soul and your deepest and most secret thoughts about your self-worth, they have a history with you, and they know exactly how to pull your strings to get you to give in.
Others – people in the fringes of your life – will continue to poke and pester you for the freebies, time, volunteering, work that you normally would have “generously donated” to them because they didn’t understand what an imposition on your time and energy their requests were or they simply didn’t care.
You, my dear, are going to have to be FIRM. You will have to uphold your boundaries and RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO GIVE IN!
And standing unwaveringly in the face of guilt inducing or even hostile opposition can be soooooo hard!
I’ll tell you that the feelings you have might about enforcing your boundaries will range from uncomfortable to downright unbearably painful! Putting yourself first is likely WAY outside of your comfort zone. That’s why you are here, isn’t it?
Historically speaking, you might have worked to avoid confrontation at all costs. You might have been willing to continuously give everything you had to others so that they didn’t have to be uncomfortable. You might have been easily finagled into a YES when you really meant NO. You might have been known for caving.
Now all that is changing. Now you are willing to say NO when you mean NO. Now you are willing to recognize your totally legitimate right to your fair slice of the pie! Those changes might throw others off and they will need to adjust.
Change can be uncomfortable – and changing your behavior in a way that affects others can be really uncomfortable. Remember that as you firmly and consciously defend your boundaries. Everyone in your life will eventually adjust – and those who don’t might not need to be in your life to begin with.
Need some support while you are creating and upholding your boundaries? I can help! Schedule an Everything You Need session, and get advice and support from all angles! Click here for details!