life coaching

  • Can Discipline Make You Happier?

    Hello Beautiful Soul!

    This year is already starting to feel so positive, happy, and just better than last year. It’s likely a lot of that “new year excitement and potential” working its magic on me.

    A HUGE part of my feeling good, though, is really linked to taking better care of myself.

    I’m taking time off of work (this one is a big one for me because I am kind of addicted to busy). I’m playing more with my kids and making coffee and tarot dates with friends. My husband and I are spending way more time cuddling and just hanging out. I’m working on projects that make my soul sing.

    My diet has changed and I am doing some form of movement each and every day. The stretching I did in yoga today was wonderful – and I feel AMAZING because I am following the Whole 30 eating suggestions. I’m nourishing myself with food and movement, instead of gorging on junk, sitting all day at my desk, and feeling bad about myself.

    The changes that I have made recently to my life, a.k.a. devoting more time to things that make me happier and healthier, are totally worth it!

    I know that I might bug you a bit about this, but I want to ask you how you feel. Are you worn out, exhausted, overwhelmed, blue, distracted, disorganized or energized, positive, motivated, excited, and ready to kick ass and take names? Have you taken a good look at how you spend your time and energy? Have you evaluated how your eating and movement habits affect your mood (and made changes accordingly)? Are you spending time with the people you love?

    In order to create a happier life for yourself, you have to be disciplined. Now, I know some of you are ewwwwing at the mention of the d-word, but I think that discipline has a bad rap. People avoid it like the plague because it seems so strict and restricting and plain old b-o-r-i-n-g!

    I recently read in Barbara Stanny’s book, Sacred Success, about how positive discipline can be in your life. Discipline is being a disciple to yourself! It is putting boundaries into place – good boundaries – to ensure that you are doing what you want and what makes you feel best in life.

    So discipline, it turns out, isn’t such a bad thing!

    You just have to get over the desire for instant gratification and find that the things you work for are sometimes way better than the things you impulsively give in to.

    I’m not saying that you have to deny yourself all of the time, but you should make sure that your actions and habits are in line with your goals.

    You have to check in with your body and your soul often to see what you need and how what you do makes you feel.

    And you’ve got to stop people-pleasing. If you aren’t into it, then don’t do it. Unless it is necessary to your goals – then you might have to eat a frog or two, as Leonie Dawson would say.

    So, are you wondering how can you stay on track when you want to make changes?

    1) Make a journal. Bullet journals are great – they have daily objectives for you to mark off, like drinking 8 glasses of water per day and #yogaeverydamnday.

    2) Find some friends with the same goals. Set rules. Check in with each other often. Turn to your support group when you need… support!

    3) Forgive yourself little mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up or quit entirely if you slip up. Just dust yourself off, get back on the wagon ASAP, and let it go.

    4) But don’t make excuses for f***king up every day. Seriously. If you make a goal for yourself, you should work toward it. If you aren’t motivated toward working on your goal, figure out your whys. If they don’t have anything to do with you and your own desires (like you are working on something for someone else or your heart just isn’t in your goal at. all.) feel free to chuck your objective in the f**k it bucket.

    5) Learn to say NO. Your friends might invite you for an ice cream. You can either go along and get a small one, get a healthier option like froyo, or just get a tea and enjoy the conversation. You don’t need to partake in order to hang out.

    6) Speaking of saying no – you might have to avoid anyone who is a bad influence – especially if you feel that you can’t say no to the person.

    One of the keys you need to remember is happiness isn’t the fleeting satisfaction that you get from acting impulsively while breaking your commitments to yourself. Happiness comes from keeping your promises to yourself, focusing on the people and things you make happy, and avoiding shame, guilt, and regret. Tweet this by clicking here.

    And sometimes, in order to get to that space where you are truly happy, you have to be disciplined. It’s just a fact of life. If it brings more happiness to you in your life, then discipline can be a good thing!

    Are you ready to explore your priorities and create a plan that will bring you more satisfaction with your life? Schedule a session with me today! Click here!

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  • 35 Things I’ve Learned About Myself And The World In 45 Years

     

    Hello Beautiful!

    The other day, I was relaxing in the bath. Really relaxing.

    It had been months, literally, since I had allowed myself to go so deep into my soul, doing nothing, just soaking in the hot, lavender and Epsom salt-laced water, letting my mind wander where it wanted to go.

    Ahhhhh…

    I thought to myself more than once, “This is soooooo nice.”

    And, of course, my thoughts turned to making more of my life just as pleasurable as the feeling of soaking in soothingly hot water.

    I NEED to bring more of this feeling into my life. I need to change things so that my shoulders aren’t up in my ears all of the time.

    Most of the time, I am acting from a state of grumpy “gotta get the things done” – even though I am not enjoying any of the things I am doing kind of place.

    Well, at least I had been doing that for the past couple of years.

    And it was wrecking havoc on me: my soul, my relationships – especially my relationship with myself.

    You see, despite the fact that I encourage others to care for themselves, to be honest with their needs, to make their lives into places of joy, excitement, and enthusiasm, I wasn’t doing any of that for myself.

    And it felt HORRIBLE.

    I was avoiding who I really, truly am and what I really, truly need.

    No more.

    I had to get totally honest with myself and with the Universe in order to actually create a life I am happy living in.

    I am going to reveal some of what I learned about/admitted to myself to you, in hopes it might help you connect more deeply with your true self and make changes in your life to bring more happiness, peace, and satisfaction to you.

    1) I am high maintenance. There. I said it.

    2) I LIKE taking time to take care of myself and having the resources and ability to do so.

    3) I like being surrounded by nice things – I love clothes that are soft and fit well. I like having beautiful dishes to eat off of and art to look at.

    4) I like a clean, good smelling, tastefully decorated home. Clutter makes me feel claustrophobic and blocked.

    5) I like to look good. Looking good requires work – and that work, the effort actually makes me feel good, too.

    6) I need daily, sweaty exercise. The sweatier the better.

    7) I like orgasms. Who doesn’t? LOL!

    8) My mind is high maintenance.

    9) I need challenges and to learn new things. I am constantly curious and sometimes obsessed.

    10) I like, need, and desire to have friends who understand me and who I understand. I need to spend time with them, too – not just internet friends (who I love – it just isn’t the same)


    11) BATHS FEEL GOOD! You’re likely to have some monumentally epic thoughts in the bath or while in deep relaxation. Therefore, taking time to relax is actually productive!

    12) People need to touch themselves in both sexual and non-sexual ways. Self-touch is so underrated, except when talking about masturbation. Of course, people need to know what they like and don’t like sexually, but they should also take time to learn to do self-massage and to lovingly caress their bodies.

    13) Speaking of non-sexual touch – people NEED that from other people, too. Hugs, pats, massages by licensed practitioners. I think touch is essential for a person to THRIVE (my word of the year).

    14) It doesn’t really matter about other people’s perceptions of a situation. You know best what you thought and how you felt about what happened. Even if someone experienced something differently than you did, it doesn’t discount the way YOU interpreted the exchange or interaction. (one of the lessons we are learning from #metoo  “apologies”)

    15) Communication often leads to understanding. And being open and honest can be HARD, so hard. But it is necessary for your relationships and to fully comprehend the other person’s intentions and motivations.

    16) No one is a mind reader. Seriously. Get over trying to hint or full on think someone else should just know what you want or what you are thinking. Express yourself!

    17) People often soften with age, wisdom, and experience.

    18) I am NOT the same person I was 20 years ago, and that is fine with me! Seriously, I would not go back to my 25-year-old mind, although I wouldn’t mind having my body from then! 😉

    19) Honesty is like gold (so is vulnerability). Seriously. I need to be more honest with myself and EXPRESS that. Quit hiding who I truly am, scars, flaws, and all.

    20) You will never get the time back that you could have spent with your loved ones, especially your kids, and it is very likely you will regret it. Make time for the people you love. Spend time with them. Nurture relationships.

    21) I need time in nature. I adore the calm, peaceful feeling that I get when walking through the woods. It’s almost like a bath – inspiration, inner peace, totally necessary!

    22) I’m extremely sensitive to what I eat. I have to learn this again and again. I do best with fruits, veggies, fish, and grains (no wheat, though) – and very little meat. Not too much processed. Good thing I like to cook!

    23) It doesn’t matter what works for other people. If it doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t work. Period.

    24) I have to avoid mean, toxic people. Even though I get a charge out of arguing my point, I tend to flog dead horses and keep at it, even though arguing makes me grantig (the German word for grumpy, ornery) and just not the person I want to be.

    25) This one might be the most important one on the list: I AM the one with the power to change my life. You are, too, for your life. There is no one in the world who has more power over what I do, how I spend my time, what I focus on, how I behave and react than I do. Others might influence me, but at the end of the day, the power to change or stay the same is MINE.

    26) It’s OK to say NO and to say YES! You can even say NO after you’ve said YES!

    27) Creativity is essential to my well-being.

    28) So is music.

    29) You have to start where you are. Period. Your starting place, if you think about it from a different perspective, is another person’s finish line!

    30) You can’t really control what other people do. Don’t try to push your advice or agenda onto others. Keep your focus on what you can control.

    31) Speaking of other people, the saying that they might not be against you but for themselves is sooo true. Don’t assume that someone is fighting you to go against you. Try to see if what you want is actually against their needs.

    32) Boundaries are so important, too. Even if someone else needs or wants something from you, you aren’t obligated to give. You have every right to impose and protect your boundaries. Think of them not as fences, but as the edge of your existence.

    33) Great adventures require great leaps of faith. I gave it all up (house, career, etc.) when I moved to Austria 12 years ago. I wouldn’t change that for the world!

    34) Sometimes you have to trust – the people around you, the Universe, yourself.

    35) Being a mom/parent is HARD. It’s like the biggest, most important puzzle/mind-fuck ever. You will likely never feel like you are doing the right thing, and the outcome is based on much more than you can control. (See #30)

    Boy, I think that is enough wisdom for now! I could likely go on and on and on! LOL!

    I would love to wish you and yours the happiest 2018 imaginable!

    If you would like to see the future Hey, Beautiful daily posts, come on over to my Facebook page and check in frequently!

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  • Finding The Best Version Of You


    At the close of my Monday morning yoga class, the instructor invited us to spend the next week connecting with and being the best versions of ourselves.

    That got me thinking – what IS the best version of me? What does she do on a daily basis? How does she act and react?

    And more importantly – am I being her now?

    Um. I know the answer to that – NO! LOL!

    I’ve slipped. Fell off the proverbial wagon. Let some things slide.

    It’s OK, though. I’m human. It’s not so much about being perfect all of the time as it is to correct yourself when you find yourself faltering.

    I always encourage people to start where they are and with a plan for what they’d like to do/be. For example, my list looks like this:

    I’d like to be kinder – to debate less and understand more.
    I’d like to be stronger and healthier – to replace bad habits with good habits.
    I’d like to be there more for my kids – to enjoy the time I have with them.
    I’d like to be a more successful business person – to share from the heart and help one person at a time.
    I’d like to be better with money – to plan for the future while taking care of the present day.
    I’d like to be more spiritual – to get back in line with my practices and feel even more centered and connected.

    Everybody has to start somewhere! No matter if that person is (or looks like) an expert, he or she was once a novice. The fittest bodybuilders started oftentimes with average or below average bodies. Gurus took time to gain wisdom and apply it to their lives.

    And sometimes, it’s not all about how much you have left to do, but where you are today compared to where you were last year – or even 2 or 5 years ago.

    How far have you come? Do you give yourself credit for the successes you’ve had and progress you’ve made?

    Are you still heading to where you’d like to see yourself?

    It might be wise to try, each and every morning, to connect with your best self. I know some of my friends have been talking about this lately, like Joanna Hennon. She’s onto something!

    When you connect with your best self and figure out what he or she is doing daily, you start making those things YOUR habits. You start to embody your best self.

    And that is when the magic happens.

    That’s when changes start to occur.

    They might be subtle at first, like being in a better mood, less tired, feeling supported by the people around you, etc. But then the effects snowball into more happiness and success, better relationships with others, feeling nurtured and nurturing others.

    By doing the things your best self would do, you BECOME YOUR BEST SELF!!

    So, what can you do to find the best version of you?

    • Be honest with yourself! What gets you excited? What makes you yawn?
    • What goals do you have? Be specific about where you’d like to see yourself, both longer-term and shorter term.
    • Find someone you admire. Specify what you admire about that person. Do any of those characteristics suit you?
    • Meditate. Give your imagination space to really visualize you being the person you want to be.
    • Be patient. Change takes time. Don’t get discouraged.
    • Get back on the wagon. If you fall off, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and hop right back on! And don’t carry a load of guilt on your shoulder. It won’t help you!
    • Find supportive friends. If you can join a group of people who have the same or similar goals, you’ll get a lot of support and likely some good tips along the way!

    Do you need support and guidance to figure out just what your best self does, who she/he is, and how to get from where you are to where you want to be? Would you like 1:1 support? Schedule a session today!

    I can support you in various ways, starting with a tarot reading to see where you are now, adding some life coaching to see what you need to do, and even working in your energetic field to clear blockages and get our chakras balanced.

    Book your session here:

    Schedule Appointment

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  • Fulfillment – My Theme Word for 2017

    Did you choose a word or phrase for the year 2017?

     

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    For the last few years, it has become common for people to choose a word of the year to describe a theme or feeling they want to achieve.

    For me, my word of the year or theme is FULFILLMENT

    fulfilment

    noun

    noun: fulfillment

    1. 1.

    the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted.

    “winning the championship was the fulfillment of a childhood dream”

    • satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s potential.

    “she did not believe that marriage was the key to happiness and fulfillment”

    1. 2.

    the meeting of a requirement, condition, or need.

    “the fulfillment of statutory requirements”

    • the performance of a duty or role as required, pledged, or expected.

    “the need to eliminate excess by the security forces in fulfillment of their duties”

     

    fulfillment

    I love the word fulfillment because it gives me a goal to strive for doing what I set out to do. It also describes a feeling of satisfaction.

    You know, I work hard, and there are many times that I feel busy, but not fulfilled. When I set my sights on accomplishing goals that make me feel fulfilled – that make my life more pleasurable and give me more of a feeling of satisfaction – it puts a different spin on my work. It makes me focus more on figuring out how to spend more time doing the things that I love, that make me feel fulfilled.

    My focus is also on working smarter and not harder. 

    And for me, this means that I should evaluate HOW I spend my time and what I can do to be more fulfilled. Working can be a good thing – it pays the bills and gives me the means to do more fun things, BUT it takes something away from fulfilling myself in my relationships – which are more important to me than money. So, I have to figure out the best way to spend my time to optimize my feelings of fulfillment.

    Fulfillment, to me, also represents the big theme of doing what I’ve said I would do. So, I need to honor my goals and what I need to do to achieve them. I need to do what it takes to be healthier: go to the gym 3 times per week, do yoga most days, find positive ways to deal with stress and to minimize the stress I have to deal with (this one is huge for me). I also have to eat better.

    Aside from personal goals, I have my business goals as well. Last year, I really diddled a lot of time away on social media. I didn’t keep up with my business posts for my OWN business. I hardly blogged for myself at all. Most of my time and energy was put into building PsychicWorld.com. This year, for a few reasons, I intend to work full-time for myself and part-time for them.

    And I want to do what I set out to do. I don’t want to continue to make big plans for myself and then not work on them – not achieve them – that makes me feel unfulfilled. That’s one of the biggest reasons I chose fulfillment as my word.

    At the end of the year, I want to feel fulfillment because I’ve embodied the spirit of fulfillment during the year.

    Do you have a word of the year for 2017? If so, feel free to share it in the comments below!

    Blessed be,
    Sue

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  • When Is The Best Time To Start Working On Your Goals?

    today-is-the-best-day-to-startworking-on-your-goals

    Is New Year’s Day the best time to start working on your goals?

    As the New Year approaches, many of us are busy making plans, resolutions, and vision boards in hopes that we will achieve all that we desire in the coming year.

    The best thing to remember, though, is that the best day to start working on your goals is TODAY and the best time is NOW!

    When you think about it, what you do now – in each and every moment – influences what your future will be like. If you want to see big changes in your life, you have to start making small changes in the moment.

    But don’t overwhelm yourself with a bunch of big changes all at once, though. Remember that change happens over time and that better is better than the same old same old!

    And remember, too, that you don’t have to wait for a specific date, day, or time to start making changes that lead you to your dreams.

    how-to-start-making-positive-changes-1

    What can you do to start making positive changes today?

    • Figure out your top 3 priorities. Make sure that you keep the most important things in your mind as you plan out changes that you will make.
    • Break it down. If better health is a priority for you, brainstorm about real, meaningful changes you can make in your daily life. Make these changes trackable. Start tracking them daily!
    • Find a buddy. It is important to have support from people who are working toward the same goals as you are. If you want to grow your business, seek out people who are also working on growing their businesses, too. Support and commiserating can help a person achieve more than she could by going it alone.
    • Remember you will have setbacks. Life can get interesting and throw curveballs into your plans. Just remember that you will have times when you can’t work on your goals (like when the flu hits your house or you go through some big life changes).
    • Don’t let setbacks make you give up. Just get up, dust off, and start where you are. You will have stops and starts – especially when working toward longer-term goals. It’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

    Set yourself up for success in 2017!

    I’ll help you discover what is important for you to work on, then create a plan that works in your life, and I can even hold you accountable to make the changes you need to make to actually fulfill your desires! Chat with me or set up an appointment for a Skype Coaching Session.
    Would you like to learn more about goals and vision boards? Read these articles!

    Goal setting
    Making a vision board

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