life advising

  • Can Discipline Make You Happier?

    Hello Beautiful Soul!

    This year is already starting to feel so positive, happy, and just better than last year. It’s likely a lot of that “new year excitement and potential” working its magic on me.

    A HUGE part of my feeling good, though, is really linked to taking better care of myself.

    I’m taking time off of work (this one is a big one for me because I am kind of addicted to busy). I’m playing more with my kids and making coffee and tarot dates with friends. My husband and I are spending way more time cuddling and just hanging out. I’m working on projects that make my soul sing.

    My diet has changed and I am doing some form of movement each and every day. The stretching I did in yoga today was wonderful – and I feel AMAZING because I am following the Whole 30 eating suggestions. I’m nourishing myself with food and movement, instead of gorging on junk, sitting all day at my desk, and feeling bad about myself.

    The changes that I have made recently to my life, a.k.a. devoting more time to things that make me happier and healthier, are totally worth it!

    I know that I might bug you a bit about this, but I want to ask you how you feel. Are you worn out, exhausted, overwhelmed, blue, distracted, disorganized or energized, positive, motivated, excited, and ready to kick ass and take names? Have you taken a good look at how you spend your time and energy? Have you evaluated how your eating and movement habits affect your mood (and made changes accordingly)? Are you spending time with the people you love?

    In order to create a happier life for yourself, you have to be disciplined. Now, I know some of you are ewwwwing at the mention of the d-word, but I think that discipline has a bad rap. People avoid it like the plague because it seems so strict and restricting and plain old b-o-r-i-n-g!

    I recently read in Barbara Stanny’s book, Sacred Success, about how positive discipline can be in your life. Discipline is being a disciple to yourself! It is putting boundaries into place – good boundaries – to ensure that you are doing what you want and what makes you feel best in life.

    So discipline, it turns out, isn’t such a bad thing!

    You just have to get over the desire for instant gratification and find that the things you work for are sometimes way better than the things you impulsively give in to.

    I’m not saying that you have to deny yourself all of the time, but you should make sure that your actions and habits are in line with your goals.

    You have to check in with your body and your soul often to see what you need and how what you do makes you feel.

    And you’ve got to stop people-pleasing. If you aren’t into it, then don’t do it. Unless it is necessary to your goals – then you might have to eat a frog or two, as Leonie Dawson would say.

    So, are you wondering how can you stay on track when you want to make changes?

    1) Make a journal. Bullet journals are great – they have daily objectives for you to mark off, like drinking 8 glasses of water per day and #yogaeverydamnday.

    2) Find some friends with the same goals. Set rules. Check in with each other often. Turn to your support group when you need… support!

    3) Forgive yourself little mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up or quit entirely if you slip up. Just dust yourself off, get back on the wagon ASAP, and let it go.

    4) But don’t make excuses for f***king up every day. Seriously. If you make a goal for yourself, you should work toward it. If you aren’t motivated toward working on your goal, figure out your whys. If they don’t have anything to do with you and your own desires (like you are working on something for someone else or your heart just isn’t in your goal at. all.) feel free to chuck your objective in the f**k it bucket.

    5) Learn to say NO. Your friends might invite you for an ice cream. You can either go along and get a small one, get a healthier option like froyo, or just get a tea and enjoy the conversation. You don’t need to partake in order to hang out.

    6) Speaking of saying no – you might have to avoid anyone who is a bad influence – especially if you feel that you can’t say no to the person.

    One of the keys you need to remember is happiness isn’t the fleeting satisfaction that you get from acting impulsively while breaking your commitments to yourself. Happiness comes from keeping your promises to yourself, focusing on the people and things you make happy, and avoiding shame, guilt, and regret. Tweet this by clicking here.

    And sometimes, in order to get to that space where you are truly happy, you have to be disciplined. It’s just a fact of life. If it brings more happiness to you in your life, then discipline can be a good thing!

    Are you ready to explore your priorities and create a plan that will bring you more satisfaction with your life? Schedule a session with me today! Click here!

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  • Is Balance Possible for an Earth Angel or Sensitive Entrepreneur?

    IsBalancePossible?

    Balance

    Is balance possible for a Sensitive Small Business owner or brand new Earth Angel entrepreneur?

    That’s a good question. Many times, it feels like balance is elusive, impossible, just not a part of the equation.

    Balance IS possible, but it takes practice, discipline, and planning! 

    In my world, some semblance of balance is NECESSARY for me to feel my best. I can’t deny that I cause myself a lot of unnecessary emotional turmoil when I don’t have some sort of balance in my life. I can’t let the house go untidied while I work on my blog all day. I can’t allow my children to be ignored so that I can get something done for a client.

    Well, most of the time – at least – I can’t. 

    Sometimes, I feel like I HAVE to let the kids sit in front of a screen or let the dust bunnies grow on my shelves (ewww!) so that I can birth the idea that JUST. NEEDS. OUT. NOW! or get something done for a client, STAT!

    Or to get the site updates done. Or the readings. Or the editing. Or whatever is tugging my soulstrings at the moment…

    Ultimately, though, if I let that imbalance take over, the stress starts to mount. I feel guilty and ashamed for basically ignoring my kids. The dirty kitchen bugs the heck out of me. I invite friends over – and look up and notice my house looks like a balloon of clothes and toys kind of exploded in the living room. Whoops! And OMG my attitude is S#!+ when I haven’t been to the gym. Whoo-doggies! It’s. Not. Good.

    And I don’t like the way I feel when I am imbalanced: Stressed, tense, hyper-focused – and many times stuck, blocked, and unable to move forward.

    Imbalance = negativity for me. This I have learned…

     

    What do I do to avoid that whole slide from balance into imbalance?

    • PRIORITIZE. I know what is essential and non-essential in my life. Exercise, tidiness, time for my kids and my hubby, home cooked meals… AND plenty of creative time for writing, business planning and development, interaction with my peeps… Those are all TOP priorities for me – and the LIFE stuff is just as, if not even more, important than the biz stuff is to me.
    • SCHEDULE. The things that make me feel better and grow my biz are IMPORTANT. I NEED THEM, so I schedule them. I know in my head that – if none of my children are sick and school is in session – I WILL go to the gym on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. I have promised myself that dishes are to be done and the kitchen cleaned BEFORE I sit down to work (or it bugs me all day). I know that I will be doing a video post on Tuesday and a newsletter every other Thursday. I have started an outline for what kinds of posts I will make to my social media each day of the week so that I can stay on task better. Schedule it in. Follow your schedule. It really makes things easier!
    • SAY NO! I know this one is terribly hard for many of us Earth Angels and Sensitive Souls, but we just HAVE to get used to saying NO and sticking with it! Many of us feel so stretched and over the limits because we do too much for others. When you are having a hard time juggling your own stuff, you don’t need to add a bunch of other people’s “balls” to the mix. People want us to prioritize their tasks – often things that we are doing as “favors” for them. Nope. No way. Find a way to graciously decline requests that don’t pull your heart strings or directly build your business.
    • OUTSOURCE, BABY! Looking professional in business can take a LOT of your time, especially when you aren’t really sure about how to do something. Why not just give the tasks that frustrate you and eat your time to someone who LOVES doing just what it is that you can’t stand doing (or don’t know how to do or don’t do as well as you would LIKE to do it)? When I hired a professional website developer (Catherine McManus at Creatively Designed),my website went from OK to FAB-U-LOOOOHHHSE!!! in like 2.5 seconds (or weeks, really – but the difference in what she could do and what I could do were ah-mazing)! She makes gorgeous graphics – like the shining pic of me at the top of my newsletter! She creates the visions that I have in my head – leaving me time to work on marketing, writing, and doing the fun stuff. I highly recommend starting with a web designer/graphic artist AT LEAST (if that stuff frustrates you), and even an Accountant. Figure out what it is that you don’t want to do and hire someone to do it for you! 

    There are other ways of bringing more balance into your life, like cutting out time wasters (scrolling through Facebook for hours), and preplanning and bulk cooking meals. Get creative in figuring out how to find balance. Make sure to schedule time to just BE, too (a.k.a. looking at the wall and doing NOTHING)!

    Want more balance? Here are your tasks for this week: 

    1) Figure out what your PRIORITIES are. YOURS. Not someone else’s, but YOURS! Write them down.
    2) Schedule them in. Seriously, this is KEY. What is in your schedule is sacred. What isn’t is easy to forget. Know what is sacred to you and make time for it!
    3) Practice saying NO! If someone wants you to take on one of his/her tasks – whether it is one of your kids who would like you to do something that he/she is darn well capable of or a client who wants you to go above and beyond (for free or nothing)… say NO!
    4) Start planning what you LOVE to do and what you can outsource. Check outFiverr to see if you can find some help, or ask in one of your biz networking groups (like my Angel Business Basics Facebook group  here)

    Want help finding your balance? I’m here for you!

    Email sue@sueellissaller.com to schedule a free half-hour session to take a look at your desires and goals in creating a fabulous business and life – and how to achieve them! *This offer does NOT include a reading of any sort!

    Sign up to receive my Weekly Intentions Worksheets (here)! They will help you to plan out your balanced upcoming week!

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