empowered love

  • A Spell for Love

    Ready to find love?

    Have you ever thought about doing a spell for love? Right now, with the Moon growing to full, the conditions are perfect to do a spell to bring love into your life.

    Love spells can be simple – wishes, intentions, desires. Sometimes, all you need to do to bring love into your life using a spell is to set your intentions and keep your energy positive. Other times, though, you might feel like you need a bit more power behind your love spell, in order to bring a lasting romantic love to you.

    Spells are all about using different elements to help to increase the power of your intention and attraction. A love spell should be specific enough to bring you the partner of your dreams, but open enough to allow the Universe to bring you the best partner—and the best partner might not be the one you are focused on.

    My advice when performing a love spell is to avoid specifying a particular person; focus instead on the characteristics and attributes your perfect partner would have.

    When creating your love spell, you will need the following items:

    a red pen
    nice stationary paper
    rose essential oil or rose water to annoint your candle
    a red or pink candle—or both.(red for romantic love, pink for more of a playful, innocent type of love)
    matches (to light the candle)
    cherry, strawberry, or honey incense

    Do this spell to find love when the moon is going from new to full, growing bigger or waxing. This phase helps to GROW things in your life.

    Sit down with an open heart and pure intention to create your spell to bring love into your life. Use your red pen to make a list of the characteristics you want your perfect partner to have. As I mentioned before, it’s best NOT to focus on a particular person and let the Universe use the energy of your love spell to bring the best partner for you, to you.

    I would start the love spell out with something like:

    My dearest Universe, I ask of thee,
    to bring me love, so mote it be.
    I am ready for you to bring
    my romantic life partner, my soul mate, my twin flame
    to me.
    I trust that you will guide me in my choices
    bringing me the best person
    the one that is meant for me.
    I am so grateful to you for all the love you bring into my life,
    and I hope that you will bring my one true love to me soon.
    My perfect partner would be…
    Thank you, thank you, thank you.

    (Think about what you want from a partner and make a list, something like the following.)

    My perfect soul mate would be:

    romantic without having to be reminded
    into foreign films
    financially stable
    a bit of a book nerd
    loves music
    kinky but not over the top
    good in bed
    into magic
    healthy/takes care of physique
    likes to cuddle
    likes children/wants children/doesn’t want children (whichever fits for you)
    a handy man…

    Write your list including characteristics that are important to you. And really, be thorough. The more specific you are about what you want, the easier it is for the Universe to bring that person to you!

    Take your candle(s) and poke three holes in each one. Drop just a couple of drops of the rose oil or rose water onto the candle, and rub it in clockwise, all the time, thinking about meeting your perfect partner or mentally repeating your spell (the words above can be modified to fit your situation).

    Light the candles (make sure they are in a safe place that you can allow them to burn out naturally). Leave them to burn the whole day, if possible. If you really want to get the energy flowing, get a candle that is meant to burn for three days and use it in your ritual.

    Light the incense, and keep it near your candle. If possible, keep the incense burning for as often as you safely can for three days.

    PLEASE BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHERE YOU PUT YOUR CANDLES and incense. DO NOT LET THEM BURN WITHOUT SUPERVISION. DON’T POUR OIL OVER YOUR CANDLE AFTER IT IS LIT. Extinguish, when you need, by snuffing the candle rather than blowing it out.

    During the three days that your spell is running, try to make a note of all of the love that is in your life. Write about it in your gratitude journal – start a gratitude journal if you don’t have one.

    Also, remember to do only one spell per moon cycle. During this moon cycle, from today to the next full moon, ONLY focus on this love spell. If it is really something that you would like to focus on for multiple moon cycles, go ahead and repeat this ritual every month right as the moon is turning full.

    You can also call in different goddesses, if you’d like. Of course, Venus is THE go-to goddess to call on to bring love into your life! Venus’ day of the week is Friday, and you should offer her roses on your altar space.

    Or, if you prefer to work with angels, you can work with Archangel Chamuel to help you to bring a new love into your life.

    Other angels to help with your love life and love spells are listed here.

    Remember, be positive that your spell will work—in DIVINE TIMING. It might take a few moon cycles for your love spell to work. Don’t give up and don’t settle for someone who doesn’t fit your wishlist. When you trust that the Universe is going to bring you a wonderful partner, you don’t have to take someone who just doesn’t do it for you. Pass on anyone who you don’t vibe with, but make sure that you aren’t so focused on one person that you miss out on a gem sent directly to you from the Universe.

    I hope that this love spell works for you! If you use it and it brings love into your life, please let me know!

    I did this spell before I met my hubby—more than 20 years ago! For me, it was quite effective!



  • Empowered Love – Authenticity Instead Of Games

    I was doing a reading last night that really brought to light how the games we are taught to play create confusion and conflict in our love lives.

    We all know the story. Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Girl acts like she doesn’t like boy. Boy doesn’t call anymore. Girl gets upset when boy doesn’t call. Girl calls tarot reader to find out why he didn’t call.

    Why didn’t he call? Because she played herself. He didn’t think she liked him (or thought she was a player), so he moved on…

    It’s sad, really, how women are taught to hide their feelings – to act contrary to them, as a matter of fact – like men don’t want to feel liked and respected. And then we wonder why men think we are complicated.

    We’re taught to flee because “men like a chase.” We’re taught to be silent because “men like silent women.” We’re taught that men want to be rejected – that it makes them want us more somehow. We are taught to ask for crumbs when we actually want the world handed to us on a platter.

    I wonder what would have happened if that girl would have been real with herself and with him. I wonder if he would have called her more often and showed up if she revealed how she truly felt.

    The funny thing is that the cards that came up in the reading advised her to take the initiative, to be confident in herself and show the fiery Goddess that she was. She said NO WAY!



    Hm. As a reader and advisor, what can I do to help at that point?

    I don’t believe in forcing my advice or opinion on a client. The people I work with have their own free will and I expect them to use it!

    BUT – I will advise that a client steps back from the issue for a while, instead of reading about everyone around the person who isn’t calling. I’ll even tell the client to chill for a few weeks to see what happens and then call me back.

    I advise that the person takes some time to get in touch with her self-love. I advise that she asks herself what she is looking for and becomes that. I advise her to try to move on, because if she doesn’t feel like she can be authentic with the person she likes, she shouldn’t be with that person to begin with.

    You see, love is this great big brilliant messy thing. Real love accepts faults and failings – and celebrates a person’s best characteristics and real feelings.

    Real feelings.

    Love isn’t about hiding who you are and what you feel because you think that will get you who and what you want. Share This on Twitter

    If who and what you want doesn’t respect who you truly are and what you truly desire, then it isn’t love.

    When I first started dating my hubby, the book, The Rules was super popular. The book was basically a dating manual for women who wanted to get married. It taught women how to play games.

    I will admit that some of The Rules are golden:

    Don’t date a married man.
    Don’t expect a man to change or try to change him.
    Don’t rush into sex.
    Don’t accept a Saturday date after Wednesday. (I like this one, because it means you aren’t an afterthought and that the guy respects your time.)

    Others, though, are all about playing games:

    Don’t call him.
    Don’t meet him halfway or go Dutch on a date.
    Don’t talk to a man first.
    Always end the phone call (After 10-15 minutes. Set a timer to make sure.)
    Don’t talk much on dates – allow him to dominate the conversation.

    Although some women swear by these rules, I don’t think they empower a woman – ULTIMATELY (because they do in some ways, but they don’t in others).

    Empowerment is learning to express yourself and your feelings. If you aren’t communicating your real feelings, you are not creating a real relationship.

    Funnily enough, I broke many of the rules when my husband and I were dating. I called him. I asked him if he wanted to go out sometimes. I actually started conversations with him. I was real and honest. BUT – he wasn’t supposed to stay around. He lived in Germany and I lived in Arizona, and so I thought we’d just have a fling and I could say what I wanted and be myself. He ended up liking who I really was – and I liked who he was, too – our AUTHENTIC SELVES. As they say, the rest is history!

    To be honest, though, authenticity isn’t easy and it can make a girl step outside of her comfort zone. It’s a practice that has to be maintained.

    Like this Valentine’s Day, I played myself. I would have liked to have at least a card or SOMETHING, but I said, “Oh, I don’t need anything. You really don’t have to…” When I didn’t get anything, I was pretty bummed – but it was my own damn fault. Next year, I’m owning my desires. I’ll be telling my hubby that I want a Valentine’s Day gift.

    The best advice, I think, is to just be yourself. If you like someone, act like it. Don’t fall over yourself to be with him/her and don’t disrespect yourself to get someone.

    Go with the flow. Be authentic. ASK. Express yourself. It’s the best way to get what you truly desire from a partner.