Life Advising

  • Energy Work, Life Advising, Spiritual Biz Basics

    I don’t have any more energy for you…

    Sorry, but I’m not sorry. I simply don’t have the energy for lopsided relationships and full on requests to “take this burden for me so I don’t have to carry it.” I don’t have time for “just this little thing for free”; or give an inch, take a mile semi-expectations. I don’t want to reschedule sessions that you missed and didn’t even bother to call and cancel. If I was there and you weren’t, I’ve fulfilled my end of the bargain.

    It sounds harsh, but seriously… If you want my energy, there has to be some sort of exchange and the exchange should be fair.|

    I’m done with taking pennies on the dollar for the work I do. I’m not going to discount my prices so low that I can’t actually pay for my phone, computer, space rental (if you’re meeting me in Vienna), gas, parking, and childcare. I don’t want to stretch myself to the limits so you can remain comfy. Sorry. No can do.

    I have a family and a business. I have limited time and energy, and I’m not at all interested in endlessly giving my resources to people who don’t really seem to appreciate them. I need that energy for my children, my home, my hubby, my projects and passions. It may seem like my energy is boundless and infinite, but it has a definite end line which I am not interested in hitting. I’ve been dangerously close to that in the past.

    If I have to get a job outside of my home to support the work I’m doing for you, then I’m going to have to say no to you and get that job.

    It feels so hard to say no, though. Our society has pushed this idea of self-sacrifice and give til it hurts until we are… giving til it hurts. Some of my *ahem* business relationships (read volunteering my time and energy to fill someone else’s void without being paid very much, if at all) are having a negative impact not only on my own time and energy but also on my marriage and my children.

    My husband is not so understanding about why I might donate working hours to a virtual stranger and then not have time to do my mom or wife stuff—let alone to develop my OWN business or write my own book. My kids have sat, iPads in hand, while I’ve taken care of somebody else’s work for them. My hubby scrolled while I fretted over someone else’s work. Was I getting paid for my time, I’d have the money to hire a house cleaner or get a massage from time to time, or even pay a VA so that I could offload some of my own tasks. I’d have enough money to take some time off to spend with my kids and my man.

    This is something that, as spiritual and sensitive entrepreneurs, we have to learn to avoid and overcome. People like us LOVE to give—we love to make people happy and teach them to do things for themselves. We have to learn the difference between being generous and being enablers. We have to learn the difference between being honored and being taken advantage of.

    And as entrepreneurs, businesspeople, we have to understand that we just can’t give all of our time to others without being compensated for it. By “compensated for it,” I mean getting paid cash money. Money might not make the world go round, but it does help me honor my time and energy and the time and energy of others I interact with. It helps me put food on my table and gas in my car.

    My kids go to tennis two times a week. Their tennis trainer is a nice guy, but I’d never think to ask him to give my kids their lessons for free. Or just free until they got good enough to, you know, win some money in tournaments so that we could pay him to continue working for us!

    And I also go to healers and massage therapists from time to time. I’ve recently started seeing a woman who does pulsing in Vienna. When I go to her, I pay her for her time, her knowledge, and the resources (both internal and external) she’s using to work with me.

    The best lesson I can give a budding spiritual entrepreneur is to give the expectation of actually being paid for the time, wisdom, skill, effort, and the resources that person uses to serve me. I can lead by example. I give the people who work for me a baseline standard: their time is valuable and worthy of being paid a fair price. I expect the same in return.

    And note I said PRICE—not exchange, not trade. Far too often, budding entrepreneurs, as I mentioned above, are sucked into lopsided trades that don’t fully value their time, energy, efforts, resources, or even financial expenditures. I refuse to do that any more.

    The value placed on my time and energy is set by me. It’s my job to honor myself and say no to any business or charity relationship that doesn’t value what I put into the relationship. It might be hard, but being stretched to the point of breaking or actually getting another job to support myself so that I can work for other people is just not something that I am willing to do anymore. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Thanks but no thanks.

    *Please note that this doesn’t apply to my dearest friends and family. 

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  • Intuitive Guidance, Life Advising

    Can Discipline Make You Happier?

    Hello Beautiful Soul!

    This year is already starting to feel so positive, happy, and just better than last year. It’s likely a lot of that “new year excitement and potential” working its magic on me.

    A HUGE part of my feeling good, though, is really linked to taking better care of myself.

    I’m taking time off of work (this one is a big one for me because I am kind of addicted to busy). I’m playing more with my kids and making coffee and tarot dates with friends. My husband and I are spending way more time cuddling and just hanging out. I’m working on projects that make my soul sing.

    My diet has changed and I am doing some form of movement each and every day. The stretching I did in yoga today was wonderful – and I feel AMAZING because I am following the Whole 30 eating suggestions. I’m nourishing myself with food and movement, instead of gorging on junk, sitting all day at my desk, and feeling bad about myself.

    The changes that I have made recently to my life, a.k.a. devoting more time to things that make me happier and healthier, are totally worth it!

    I know that I might bug you a bit about this, but I want to ask you how you feel. Are you worn out, exhausted, overwhelmed, blue, distracted, disorganized or energized, positive, motivated, excited, and ready to kick ass and take names? Have you taken a good look at how you spend your time and energy? Have you evaluated how your eating and movement habits affect your mood (and made changes accordingly)? Are you spending time with the people you love?

    In order to create a happier life for yourself, you have to be disciplined. Now, I know some of you are ewwwwing at the mention of the d-word, but I think that discipline has a bad rap. People avoid it like the plague because it seems so strict and restricting and plain old b-o-r-i-n-g!

    I recently read in Barbara Stanny’s book, Sacred Success, about how positive discipline can be in your life. Discipline is being a disciple to yourself! It is putting boundaries into place – good boundaries – to ensure that you are doing what you want and what makes you feel best in life.

    So discipline, it turns out, isn’t such a bad thing!

    You just have to get over the desire for instant gratification and find that the things you work for are sometimes way better than the things you impulsively give in to.

    I’m not saying that you have to deny yourself all of the time, but you should make sure that your actions and habits are in line with your goals.

    You have to check in with your body and your soul often to see what you need and how what you do makes you feel.

    And you’ve got to stop people-pleasing. If you aren’t into it, then don’t do it. Unless it is necessary to your goals – then you might have to eat a frog or two, as Leonie Dawson would say.

    So, are you wondering how can you stay on track when you want to make changes?

    1) Make a journal. Bullet journals are great – they have daily objectives for you to mark off, like drinking 8 glasses of water per day and #yogaeverydamnday.

    2) Find some friends with the same goals. Set rules. Check in with each other often. Turn to your support group when you need… support!

    3) Forgive yourself little mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up or quit entirely if you slip up. Just dust yourself off, get back on the wagon ASAP, and let it go.

    4) But don’t make excuses for f***king up every day. Seriously. If you make a goal for yourself, you should work toward it. If you aren’t motivated toward working on your goal, figure out your whys. If they don’t have anything to do with you and your own desires (like you are working on something for someone else or your heart just isn’t in your goal at. all.) feel free to chuck your objective in the f**k it bucket.

    5) Learn to say NO. Your friends might invite you for an ice cream. You can either go along and get a small one, get a healthier option like froyo, or just get a tea and enjoy the conversation. You don’t need to partake in order to hang out.

    6) Speaking of saying no – you might have to avoid anyone who is a bad influence – especially if you feel that you can’t say no to the person.

    One of the keys you need to remember is happiness isn’t the fleeting satisfaction that you get from acting impulsively while breaking your commitments to yourself. Happiness comes from keeping your promises to yourself, focusing on the people and things you make happy, and avoiding shame, guilt, and regret. Tweet this by clicking here.

    And sometimes, in order to get to that space where you are truly happy, you have to be disciplined. It’s just a fact of life. If it brings more happiness to you in your life, then discipline can be a good thing!

    Are you ready to explore your priorities and create a plan that will bring you more satisfaction with your life? Schedule a session with me today! Click here!

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  • Hey Beautiful, Intuitive Guidance, Life Advising

    35 Things I’ve Learned About Myself And The World In 45 Years

     

    Hello Beautiful!

    The other day, I was relaxing in the bath. Really relaxing.

    It had been months, literally, since I had allowed myself to go so deep into my soul, doing nothing, just soaking in the hot, lavender and Epsom salt-laced water, letting my mind wander where it wanted to go.

    Ahhhhh…

    I thought to myself more than once, “This is soooooo nice.”

    And, of course, my thoughts turned to making more of my life just as pleasurable as the feeling of soaking in soothingly hot water.

    I NEED to bring more of this feeling into my life. I need to change things so that my shoulders aren’t up in my ears all of the time.

    Most of the time, I am acting from a state of grumpy “gotta get the things done” – even though I am not enjoying any of the things I am doing kind of place.

    Well, at least I had been doing that for the past couple of years.

    And it was wrecking havoc on me: my soul, my relationships – especially my relationship with myself.

    You see, despite the fact that I encourage others to care for themselves, to be honest with their needs, to make their lives into places of joy, excitement, and enthusiasm, I wasn’t doing any of that for myself.

    And it felt HORRIBLE.

    I was avoiding who I really, truly am and what I really, truly need.

    No more.

    I had to get totally honest with myself and with the Universe in order to actually create a life I am happy living in.

    I am going to reveal some of what I learned about/admitted to myself to you, in hopes it might help you connect more deeply with your true self and make changes in your life to bring more happiness, peace, and satisfaction to you.

    1) I am high maintenance. There. I said it.

    2) I LIKE taking time to take care of myself and having the resources and ability to do so.

    3) I like being surrounded by nice things – I love clothes that are soft and fit well. I like having beautiful dishes to eat off of and art to look at.

    4) I like a clean, good smelling, tastefully decorated home. Clutter makes me feel claustrophobic and blocked.

    5) I like to look good. Looking good requires work – and that work, the effort actually makes me feel good, too.

    6) I need daily, sweaty exercise. The sweatier the better.

    7) I like orgasms. Who doesn’t? LOL!

    8) My mind is high maintenance.

    9) I need challenges and to learn new things. I am constantly curious and sometimes obsessed.

    10) I like, need, and desire to have friends who understand me and who I understand. I need to spend time with them, too – not just internet friends (who I love – it just isn’t the same)


    11) BATHS FEEL GOOD! You’re likely to have some monumentally epic thoughts in the bath or while in deep relaxation. Therefore, taking time to relax is actually productive!

    12) People need to touch themselves in both sexual and non-sexual ways. Self-touch is so underrated, except when talking about masturbation. Of course, people need to know what they like and don’t like sexually, but they should also take time to learn to do self-massage and to lovingly caress their bodies.

    13) Speaking of non-sexual touch – people NEED that from other people, too. Hugs, pats, massages by licensed practitioners. I think touch is essential for a person to THRIVE (my word of the year).

    14) It doesn’t really matter about other people’s perceptions of a situation. You know best what you thought and how you felt about what happened. Even if someone experienced something differently than you did, it doesn’t discount the way YOU interpreted the exchange or interaction. (one of the lessons we are learning from #metoo  “apologies”)

    15) Communication often leads to understanding. And being open and honest can be HARD, so hard. But it is necessary for your relationships and to fully comprehend the other person’s intentions and motivations.

    16) No one is a mind reader. Seriously. Get over trying to hint or full on think someone else should just know what you want or what you are thinking. Express yourself!

    17) People often soften with age, wisdom, and experience.

    18) I am NOT the same person I was 20 years ago, and that is fine with me! Seriously, I would not go back to my 25-year-old mind, although I wouldn’t mind having my body from then! 😉

    19) Honesty is like gold (so is vulnerability). Seriously. I need to be more honest with myself and EXPRESS that. Quit hiding who I truly am, scars, flaws, and all.

    20) You will never get the time back that you could have spent with your loved ones, especially your kids, and it is very likely you will regret it. Make time for the people you love. Spend time with them. Nurture relationships.

    21) I need time in nature. I adore the calm, peaceful feeling that I get when walking through the woods. It’s almost like a bath – inspiration, inner peace, totally necessary!

    22) I’m extremely sensitive to what I eat. I have to learn this again and again. I do best with fruits, veggies, fish, and grains (no wheat, though) – and very little meat. Not too much processed. Good thing I like to cook!

    23) It doesn’t matter what works for other people. If it doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t work. Period.

    24) I have to avoid mean, toxic people. Even though I get a charge out of arguing my point, I tend to flog dead horses and keep at it, even though arguing makes me grantig (the German word for grumpy, ornery) and just not the person I want to be.

    25) This one might be the most important one on the list: I AM the one with the power to change my life. You are, too, for your life. There is no one in the world who has more power over what I do, how I spend my time, what I focus on, how I behave and react than I do. Others might influence me, but at the end of the day, the power to change or stay the same is MINE.

    26) It’s OK to say NO and to say YES! You can even say NO after you’ve said YES!

    27) Creativity is essential to my well-being.

    28) So is music.

    29) You have to start where you are. Period. Your starting place, if you think about it from a different perspective, is another person’s finish line!

    30) You can’t really control what other people do. Don’t try to push your advice or agenda onto others. Keep your focus on what you can control.

    31) Speaking of other people, the saying that they might not be against you but for themselves is sooo true. Don’t assume that someone is fighting you to go against you. Try to see if what you want is actually against their needs.

    32) Boundaries are so important, too. Even if someone else needs or wants something from you, you aren’t obligated to give. You have every right to impose and protect your boundaries. Think of them not as fences, but as the edge of your existence.

    33) Great adventures require great leaps of faith. I gave it all up (house, career, etc.) when I moved to Austria 12 years ago. I wouldn’t change that for the world!

    34) Sometimes you have to trust – the people around you, the Universe, yourself.

    35) Being a mom/parent is HARD. It’s like the biggest, most important puzzle/mind-fuck ever. You will likely never feel like you are doing the right thing, and the outcome is based on much more than you can control. (See #30)

    Boy, I think that is enough wisdom for now! I could likely go on and on and on! LOL!

    I would love to wish you and yours the happiest 2018 imaginable!

    If you would like to see the future Hey, Beautiful daily posts, come on over to my Facebook page and check in frequently!

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  • Life Advising

    2018 – What’s Your Word Of The Year?

    2018 word of the year

    Hello Beautiful Souls!

    I have been thinking about my word of the year for 2018 for a couple of days now.

    Success and successful were pretty high on the list, but also very limiting to me in some way. They didn’t fully resonate with what I was looking for.

    I mean, I’ve been successful in the past few years on many different levels. I’ve written books and courses designed to help others, but I don’t actually feel like that word is the sum of what I want for the year.

    I looked up success on thesaurus.com (all you budding bloggers should have this address auto-populating in your search bar!) – here are a few words that came up:

    accomplishment
    benefit
    progress
    happiness
    triumph
    prosperity

    The list was kind of long, and none of the words was THE word I was looking for.

    On to look up successful… The list got better…

    auspicious
    blossoming
    booming
    flourishing
    THRIVING

    THRIVE! Yes! That is the word!

    To me, THRIVING is so much more than success. Success seems so single dimensional, related only to money and business. But THRIVING seems like health, wellness, prosperity, business, family – so multidimensional and vibrant.

    Your word of the year should be inspirational!

    It resonates and makes me excited to think about, so much more than being successful or even prosperous or triumphant.

     

     

     

     

     

    When you are picking out your own word for the new year:

    • Make sure you find a word that feels exciting and powerful to you.
    • Try out a few different words. Don’t settle for anything that isn’t exactly right.
    • Look up different words in the dictionary or thesaurus.
    • Meditate or ask your guides for clues about what word will work for you.
    • Then embrace that word! Use it on your Vision Board. Write it in your journal. Charge that word with all of the love, hope, and energy that you have.
    •  Work to bring your word into every nook and cranny of your life.

    I hope you find a word that resonates with you in the new year! Feel free to share your word for 2018 in the comments below!

    Would you like to explore the coming year with tarot and oracle cards? Order a 2018 Overview Reading here: Order 2018 Overview Reading

    Photo credit swinging woman
    Photo credit woman with open arms

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  • Hey Beautiful, Life Advising, Uncategorized

    Finding The Best Version Of You


    At the close of my Monday morning yoga class, the instructor invited us to spend the next week connecting with and being the best versions of ourselves.

    That got me thinking – what IS the best version of me? What does she do on a daily basis? How does she act and react?

    And more importantly – am I being her now?

    Um. I know the answer to that – NO! LOL!

    I’ve slipped. Fell off the proverbial wagon. Let some things slide.

    It’s OK, though. I’m human. It’s not so much about being perfect all of the time as it is to correct yourself when you find yourself faltering.

    I always encourage people to start where they are and with a plan for what they’d like to do/be. For example, my list looks like this:

    I’d like to be kinder – to debate less and understand more.
    I’d like to be stronger and healthier – to replace bad habits with good habits.
    I’d like to be there more for my kids – to enjoy the time I have with them.
    I’d like to be a more successful business person – to share from the heart and help one person at a time.
    I’d like to be better with money – to plan for the future while taking care of the present day.
    I’d like to be more spiritual – to get back in line with my practices and feel even more centered and connected.

    Everybody has to start somewhere! No matter if that person is (or looks like) an expert, he or she was once a novice. The fittest bodybuilders started oftentimes with average or below average bodies. Gurus took time to gain wisdom and apply it to their lives.

    And sometimes, it’s not all about how much you have left to do, but where you are today compared to where you were last year – or even 2 or 5 years ago.

    How far have you come? Do you give yourself credit for the successes you’ve had and progress you’ve made?

    Are you still heading to where you’d like to see yourself?

    It might be wise to try, each and every morning, to connect with your best self. I know some of my friends have been talking about this lately, like Joanna Hennon. She’s onto something!

    When you connect with your best self and figure out what he or she is doing daily, you start making those things YOUR habits. You start to embody your best self.

    And that is when the magic happens.

    That’s when changes start to occur.

    They might be subtle at first, like being in a better mood, less tired, feeling supported by the people around you, etc. But then the effects snowball into more happiness and success, better relationships with others, feeling nurtured and nurturing others.

    By doing the things your best self would do, you BECOME YOUR BEST SELF!!

    So, what can you do to find the best version of you?

    • Be honest with yourself! What gets you excited? What makes you yawn?
    • What goals do you have? Be specific about where you’d like to see yourself, both longer-term and shorter term.
    • Find someone you admire. Specify what you admire about that person. Do any of those characteristics suit you?
    • Meditate. Give your imagination space to really visualize you being the person you want to be.
    • Be patient. Change takes time. Don’t get discouraged.
    • Get back on the wagon. If you fall off, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and hop right back on! And don’t carry a load of guilt on your shoulder. It won’t help you!
    • Find supportive friends. If you can join a group of people who have the same or similar goals, you’ll get a lot of support and likely some good tips along the way!

    Do you need support and guidance to figure out just what your best self does, who she/he is, and how to get from where you are to where you want to be? Would you like 1:1 support? Schedule a session today!

    I can support you in various ways, starting with a tarot reading to see where you are now, adding some life coaching to see what you need to do, and even working in your energetic field to clear blockages and get our chakras balanced.

    Book your session here:

    Schedule Appointment

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