The other day, I was relaxing in the bath. Really relaxing.
It had been months, literally, since I had allowed myself to go so deep into my soul, doing nothing, just soaking in the hot, lavender and Epsom salt-laced water, letting my mind wander where it wanted to go.
I thought to myself more than once, “This is soooooo nice.”
And, of course, my thoughts turned to making more of my life just as pleasurable as the feeling of soaking in soothingly hot water.
I NEED to bring more of this feeling into my life. I need to change things so that my shoulders aren’t up in my ears all of the time.
Most of the time, I am acting from a state of grumpy “gotta get the things done” – even though I am not enjoying any of the things I am doing kind of place.
Well, at least I had been doing that for the past couple of years.
And it was wrecking havoc on me: my soul, my relationships – especially my relationship with myself.
You see, despite the fact that I encourage others to care for themselves, to be honest with their needs, to make their lives into places of joy, excitement, and enthusiasm, I wasn’t doing any of that for myself.
And it felt HORRIBLE.
I was avoiding who I really, truly am and what I really, truly need.
I had to get totally honest with myself and with the Universe in order to actually create a life I am happy living in.
I am going to reveal some of what I learned about/admitted to myself to you, in hopes it might help you connect more deeply with your true self and make changes in your life to bring more happiness, peace, and satisfaction to you.
1) I am high maintenance. There. I said it.
2) I LIKE taking time to take care of myself and having the resources and ability to do so.
3) I like being surrounded by nice things – I love clothes that are soft and fit well. I like having beautiful dishes to eat off of and art to look at.
4) I like a clean, good smelling, tastefully decorated home. Clutter makes me feel claustrophobic and blocked.
5) I like to look good. Looking good requires work – and that work, the effort actually makes me feel good, too.
6) I need daily, sweaty exercise. The sweatier the better.
7) I like orgasms. Who doesn’t? LOL!
8) My mind is high maintenance.
9) I need challenges and to learn new things. I am constantly curious and sometimes obsessed.
10) I like, need, and desire to have friends who understand me and who I understand. I need to spend time with them, too – not just internet friends (who I love – it just isn’t the same)
11) BATHS FEEL GOOD! You’re likely to have some monumentally epic thoughts in the bath or while in deep relaxation. Therefore, taking time to relax is actually productive!
12) People need to touch themselves in both sexual and non-sexual ways. Self-touch is so underrated, except when talking about masturbation. Of course, people need to know what they like and don’t like sexually, but they should also take time to learn to do self-massage and to lovingly caress their bodies.
13) Speaking of non-sexual touch – people NEED that from other people, too. Hugs, pats, massages by licensed practitioners. I think touch is essential for a person to THRIVE (my word of the year).
14) It doesn’t really matter about other people’s perceptions of a situation. You know best what you thought and how you felt about what happened. Even if someone experienced something differently than you did, it doesn’t discount the way YOU interpreted the exchange or interaction. (one of the lessons we are learning from #metoo “apologies”)
15) Communication often leads to understanding. And being open and honest can be HARD, so hard. But it is necessary for your relationships and to fully comprehend the other person’s intentions and motivations.
16) No one is a mind reader. Seriously. Get over trying to hint or full on think someone else should just know what you want or what you are thinking. Express yourself!
17) People often soften with age, wisdom, and experience.
18) I am NOT the same person I was 20 years ago, and that is fine with me! Seriously, I would not go back to my 25-year-old mind, although I wouldn’t mind having my body from then! 😉
19) Honesty is like gold (so is vulnerability). Seriously. I need to be more honest with myself and EXPRESS that. Quit hiding who I truly am, scars, flaws, and all.
20) You will never get the time back that you could have spent with your loved ones, especially your kids, and it is very likely you will regret it. Make time for the people you love. Spend time with them. Nurture relationships.
21) I need time in nature. I adore the calm, peaceful feeling that I get when walking through the woods. It’s almost like a bath – inspiration, inner peace, totally necessary!
22) I’m extremely sensitive to what I eat. I have to learn this again and again. I do best with fruits, veggies, fish, and grains (no wheat, though) – and very little meat. Not too much processed. Good thing I like to cook!
23) It doesn’t matter what works for other people. If it doesn’t work for me, it doesn’t work. Period.
24) I have to avoid mean, toxic people. Even though I get a charge out of arguing my point, I tend to flog dead horses and keep at it, even though arguing makes me grantig (the German word for grumpy, ornery) and just not the person I want to be.
25) This one might be the most important one on the list: I AM the one with the power to change my life. You are, too, for your life. There is no one in the world who has more power over what I do, how I spend my time, what I focus on, how I behave and react than I do. Others might influence me, but at the end of the day, the power to change or stay the same is MINE.
26) It’s OK to say NO and to say YES! You can even say NO after you’ve said YES!
27) Creativity is essential to my well-being.
28) So is music.
29) You have to start where you are. Period. Your starting place, if you think about it from a different perspective, is another person’s finish line!
30) You can’t really control what other people do. Don’t try to push your advice or agenda onto others. Keep your focus on what you can control.
31) Speaking of other people, the saying that they might not be against you but for themselves is sooo true. Don’t assume that someone is fighting you to go against you. Try to see if what you want is actually against their needs.
32) Boundaries are so important, too. Even if someone else needs or wants something from you, you aren’t obligated to give. You have every right to impose and protect your boundaries. Think of them not as fences, but as the edge of your existence.
33) Great adventures require great leaps of faith. I gave it all up (house, career, etc.) when I moved to Austria 12 years ago. I wouldn’t change that for the world!
34) Sometimes you have to trust – the people around you, the Universe, yourself.
35) Being a mom/parent is HARD. It’s like the biggest, most important puzzle/mind-fuck ever. You will likely never feel like you are doing the right thing, and the outcome is based on much more than you can control. (See #30)
Boy, I think that is enough wisdom for now! I could likely go on and on and on! LOL!
I would love to wish you and yours the happiest 2018 imaginable!
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